Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – September 5
Nitwit News – September 5

A Scottish couple said they spent $1.56 on their wedding, which involved a volunteer minister and a pot luck reception. Georgina and Sid said the buck-and-a-half they spent on the bride’s second-hand dress was the only money they spent on their recent wedding. They held the wedding on their property with a volunteer minister and guests were asked to bring food for a picnic reception in the barn behind their home. Georgina’s aunt baked the three-tier wedding cake free of charge and her father, Harry, entertained the guests with his saxophone.

Florida police (St. Lucie County) defeated two suspects in a game of crack-pipe hide-and-seek. When Oliver Johnson submitted to a security X-ray, cops spotted a crack pipe in his stomach. In another part of Florida (Vero Beach) jail authorities conducting a cavity search on drug suspect Amanda Goss found a crack pipe in, ahem, her lower frontal orifice.

Clive Saleman received a letter at his home in Oakura, New Zealand. It was addressed to “the occupier” of a nearby streetlight. The letter threatened that power could be shut off, which at first worried Saleman — till he realized the letter wasn’t sent to him and it was from a different power company. The company that provides power to the streetlight later admitted it was an “automated administrative” error. Yeah, the letter was supposed to be sent to the nearby ‘Yield’ sign.

Interviews & Bits

Dustin Lynch

Why did you need stitches?

Dustin Lynch was hit in the face with a can of beer mid-concert and needed stitches. What happened that you…

A house overrun with spiders

Thousands of spiders bleeding from the walls.