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Nitwit News – September 27
Nitwit News – September 27

In Hong Kong, a fruit vendor had to be taken to the hospital after she fainted while chasing a man in a gorilla suit who had stolen a bunch of bananas from her. The gorilla stunt was for a prank reality show. The fruit vendor is okay and received an apology note and some flowers from the guy in the gorilla suit sent.

Meredith Fitzmaurice had never run a full marathon before. She was working her way up to that when she entered the half-marathon at the Run for Heroes Marathon in Amherstburg, Ontario, last Sunday. But the half-marathon and the full marathon were happening at the same time, and she missed a turn on the half-marathon course. After awhile Fitzmaurice (who’s 34) asked one of the bike patrol officials on the course where the turn was for the half-marathon, although she admits by that point she had her suspicions. Once she realized what she had done she figured she’d run 20 miles, use it as a long run and call it a day. But then she started to count people ahead of her. There were only a few men ahead, and no women, so Fitzmaurice kept running, and was the first woman across the finish line, and the tenth overall with a time of 3:11:48.

In Poland a guy stole a car not far from where police were working on another case. So, of course, a chance began. A few miles down the road the car thief dumps the car and runs into a large, grassy field. Police arrived at the empty car a minute later and knew their man couldn’t be far. Shortly after they began searching the field for the car thief they heard a sneeze. Guess who it was?

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.