Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – September 26
Nitwit News – September 26

U.S. Department of Homeland Security said Border Patrol agents discovered a man swimming off the coast of California with 52½ pounds of marijuana. The 55-year-old man was discovered floating on a duffle bag about 600 yards offshore. The man told agents he was a Mexican national. The marijuana is worth an estimated $23,594.

An Alaskan airport had to close an aircraft access route because several people blindly obeyed the navigation orders of their inaccurate Apple Maps app. In the past three weeks, two motorists drove along the taxiway and then across a runway at the Fairbanks International airport.

A Houston woman was charged with “online impersonation” after she became so enraged over her ex’s new relationship that she published a Craigslist ad saying the new girlfriend would perform sexual acts on Craigslisters if they came to her house. The cops found out about the the ad when the new girlfriend called police to tell them that strange men kept showing up at her house soliciting sex and she didn’t know why.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.