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Nitwit News – September 11
Nitwit News – September 11

Baltimore police have released tapes of two 911 calls a man made August 26. On the tapes the voice on the calls claimed he had planted a bomb at Oriole Park at Camden, home of Baltimore’s Major League Baseball team. The man said, “Y’all got 20 minutes to get there.” When asked why he would plant a bomb at the park. The man responded, “‘Cause I’m tired of Baltimore.” No arrests had been made in the case.

Someone hacked a digital road sign in Saginaw County, Michigan. The Michigan Department of Transportation said someone hacked the sign with the words “I-75 is closed due to loose gorilla.”

Boulder, Colorado, Police have released a man suspected of going on a drunken horseback ride. Patrick Schumacher is facing charges of riding a horse while under the influence of alcohol after witnesses saw the rider and horse occasional wandering into traffic. Officers observed that Schumacher was slumped to his right side as he crossed streets and forced pedestrians off the sidewalk. Police pulled the horse over and Schumacher was arrested. Police say he had a small dog in his backpack and beer in one of his saddlebags.

A tragic scene unfolded in a supermarket in Japan as a 32-year-old man went on a mass poking and squishing rampage. Details of the total damage are sketchy but we received reports that packs of meat had holes poked in them with a finger and loaves of bread were thrown on the floor. According to police the 15 minute rampage against packaged food left 103 items destroyed — about $600 worth.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.