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Nitwit News – October 7
Nitwit News – October 7

Police in American Fork, Utah, put a fake parking ticket on a Barbie toy Jeep that was left in the middle of the street. A patrol officer spotted the pink Jeep parked in the road blocking a driveway. The officer moved the toy into the driveway and put a bright orange “Abandoned Vehicle” tag on the hood. The homeowner said there was no fine or notice on the tag and reminded his daughters, ages 7 and 9, to park the Barbie Jeep in the garage when they’re done playing with it.

A grandfather in the United Kingdom picked up a child from a school (in Kent) and took her to a doctor’s appointment, then returned her to school later that day. Sounds like a heartwarming afternoon. Except that it was the wrong kid altogether. It was only discovered that the old guy spent the day with the wrong little girl when the child showed her parents the medicine she had been given during her unexpected doctor’s visit. Apparently, the grandfather, whose actual granddaughter is in the same class and shares the same name with his granddaughter, was unaware the entire time that he had the wrong kid.

A 9-year-old boy sneaked through security and onto a Delta flight at Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport on Thursday and made it all the way to Las Vegas — apparently without a boarding pass. But putting a dent in his wild vacation plans, crew members “became suspicious of the child’s circumstances” during the flight and turned him over to authorities in Nevada. That wasn’t the only mischief the kid got up to: He also visited the airport the day before, where he stole a bag from the luggage carousel, then went to a restaurant and ordered lunch. After eating, he asked a server to mind his bag while he went to the restroom, then skipped out on the bill. The bag was eventually returned to its original owner.

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Better When Bleeped!

NBC’s Brian Williams sounds better when bleeps are added.