Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – November 18
Nitwit News – November 18

A man in Flint, Michigan, told police he and his wife returned to their home one evening and found the back door kicked in. When the husband and wife went further into their home they found the man’s ex-girlfriend asleep in their bed. The man then yelled at his ex and she awoke cursing and allegedly said, “I’m going to get you.” To make matters worse, the ex bit the man on the arm before fleeing the scene. To prove she’d been there, the man took a picture of the woman sleeping in the bed and showed it to police.

A couple in Ireland got married just outside a public restroom at a library. They met at the very spot where they married when he was on his way out of the men’s room and she was on her way into the women’s. He lingered after she went in and had enough time to muster up the courage to ask her if she’d have coffee with him.

An Australian man’s sweet tooth proved to be his undoing. He broke into a bakery where he grabbed what cash he could find and, on his way out, picked up a donut and took a bite out of it, leaving the uneaten half behind. Unfortunately, the store’s security camera recorded the whole thing. And even more unfortunately for him, the cops were able to positively identify him by the DNA that he left behind on the donut.

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Better When Bleeped!

NBC’s Brian Williams sounds better when bleeps are added.