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Nitwit News – November 14
Nitwit News – November 14

Four auto burglary suspects in the Sacramento, California, area were nabbed a few hours after the alleged crime, partly because they uploaded photos to Instagram of a fast food restaurant pig-out purchased with a credit card taken from one of the burglarized cars. The break-in happened Saturday evening and was quickly discovered by the owner of one of the vehicles, who promptly reported her stolen credit cards. That’s when she learned that one of the missing cards had just been used to buy a $120 worth of heartburn at burger place. Restaurant employees, struck by the humongous order and the odd behavior of the customers, recorded the license plate of the car and even Instagrammed a copy of the receipt. From there, it just took a little sleuthing to match up that information with a recent Instagram post showing a couple of dudes with the back of their car piled high with fast food.

Robert D. Bourque of Sarnia, Ontario, Canada, testified that he was not driving drunk. He claims the reason that a Breathalyzer showed that his blood alcohol level was 25% above the legal driving limit was because he was “trying to prove Jesus right.” Bourque says he poured alcohol into his ears to test his theory of how Jesus healed the deaf, and that’s what triggered a false Breathalyzer reading — not the three beers he had shortly before being stopped.

A man in the UK decided to dress up for church — with salad dressing. Police were called when the dressing-covered man refused to leave.

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