Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – November 14
Nitwit News – November 14

Four auto burglary suspects in the Sacramento, California, area were nabbed a few hours after the alleged crime, partly because they uploaded photos to Instagram of a fast food restaurant pig-out purchased with a credit card taken from one of the burglarized cars. The break-in happened Saturday evening and was quickly discovered by the owner of one of the vehicles, who promptly reported her stolen credit cards. That’s when she learned that one of the missing cards had just been used to buy a $120 worth of heartburn at burger place. Restaurant employees, struck by the humongous order and the odd behavior of the customers, recorded the license plate of the car and even Instagrammed a copy of the receipt. From there, it just took a little sleuthing to match up that information with a recent Instagram post showing a couple of dudes with the back of their car piled high with fast food.

Robert D. Bourque of Sarnia, Ontario, Canada, testified that he was not driving drunk. He claims the reason that a Breathalyzer showed that his blood alcohol level was 25% above the legal driving limit was because he was “trying to prove Jesus right.” Bourque says he poured alcohol into his ears to test his theory of how Jesus healed the deaf, and that’s what triggered a false Breathalyzer reading — not the three beers he had shortly before being stopped.

A man in the UK decided to dress up for church — with salad dressing. Police were called when the dressing-covered man refused to leave.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.