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Nitwit News – November 11
Nitwit News – November 11

The North Carolina Dept. of Transportation last Wednesday warned drivers to stay clear of rain, female drivers, and Obamacare. During a routine test of the signs that alert drivers along North Carolina freeways, a technology contractor sent the warning out. The test message — which wasn’t meant to be displayed — read: “A high severity incident has been added of I-40 Eastbound. Vehicle accident: Women drivers, rain and Obama Care.”

One man had an interesting weapon of choice to assault two people in Flint, Michigan, last week. A 17-year-old woman and 39-year-old man told police the suspect assaulted them. He was punching them and then grabbed a potato peeler and tried to go after them with that. For good measure, he then assaulted two police officers. No one was seriously injured. He should be punished by being forced to peel potatoes.

A burglar in Wales who evaded police for seven years was caught after he appeared in his local paper for a ‘Win a Wedding’ contest. Vincent Condron was hauled before a judge after a police officer recognized a picture of him with his fiance. Condron has been sentenced to a community service in 2006 for burglary and shoplifting but had failed to comply. He fled to Ireland for awhile, then returned to Wales where he met his future wife — and posed for the contest photo.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.