Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – March 7
Nitwit News – March 7

More than 20 police vehicles and a Dallas, Texas, SWAT team went to an apartment building where a woman had fled with injuries. Two schools went into lockdown; there were armed personnel vehicles, ambulances, fire trucks, and an incident command post. Media helicopters were urged to back off. An officer using a loudspeaker shouted at the apartment door, “Do what’s right. We are not going away!” But the suspects, believed to be armed, did not emerge. The standoff continued for six hours. Finally, police burst into the apartment. It was empty.

A man protesting against ‘The System’ used a spatula to stuff feces into the money slots of cash machines in a western French city. Managers at five banks in the city of Brest came to work this week to find that someone had tried to make a rather foul deposit. A total of 17 machines had their cash slots force-fed fecal matter by a 53-year-old suspect.

When a woman found out her husband was cheating on her, she decided to hit him and his mistress where it hurts: right in the local Walmart. Beverly Rolston told police she made posters showing her husband having sex with a former friend of hers, and then put them at the Middletown, Ohio, store where the woman worked. On each one, she wrote “Hide your Husbands!”

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.