Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – March 18
Nitwit News – March 18

An upstate New York man (Oneonta) faces charges after New York State Police say he was arrested twice in the same morning for driving while intoxicated. Zachary J. Boynton was arrested at 12:56 AM on Sunday at a McDonald’s after he drove into a car that was in front of him at the drive-through. He was issued tickets and turned over to a sober friend. At 5:16 AM on Sunday, police arrived to the same McDonald’s on a report someone had hit the building with a car, then fled the scene.

A woman who claimed she had the devil inside her drove a car through the doors of a church, then stabbed her husband in the chest when he showed up to check on her. She said God told her to do it. Stephanie Hamman crashed through the Church Hill, Tennessee, church, then called her husband, Stephen, for help. He found her lying in front of the altar with a large kitchen knife, which she planted in his chest. Stephen Hamman made it home, removed the knife, and called police for help.

… Officers caught up with his wife at a hospital, where she told them she had decided to live her life for God, who told her to stop smoking marijuana all day and night. According to God, she said, weed is only for relaxing in the evenings. She also said God told her she needed to “get in the church,” a command she apparently took very literally.

… As for why she stabbed her husband, she said she knifed him for “worshipping the NASCAR race at Bristol.”

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.