Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – July 30
Nitwit News – July 30

An Oregon man allegedly armed himself with a baseball bat to rob a store. When Derrick Mosley smashed a display case with his bat, the manager of Discount Gun Sales pulled his own firearm. Cops found Mosley cowering on the floor.

A 20-year-old Florida man allegedly punched and kicked two store employees after stealing a small bag of chips. When deputies arrested Benjamin Barber he told them his mother had predicted that he’d end up behind bars.

In Georgia, a 7-foot tall KFC bucket showed up on Aleena Headrick’s front yard. No one knows where it came from — although it’s pretty obvious it probably once sat at the top of a large pole as a form of advertising. The owner of the home Headrick rents says he plans to mount it on it a pole also.

A 23-year-old British woman convinced her doctors that she needed taxpayer-funded breast-enhancement surgery to boost her, um, sagging mental health. Now the woman is unhappy with having gone from a 32A to a 36DD — and wants to sue the doctors for making them too big. She says she didn’t ask for 36DD and that she would have been happier with a B cup.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.