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Nitwit News – July 29
Nitwit News – July 29

Police in Winter Haven, Florida, are looking for three sweet-tooth thieves. The three men entered a Walmart, went to the candy aisle and selected a large assortment of candy from the shelf. What was on the shelf wasn’t enough, because the suspects asked an employee if there was more candy in the back. The store worker went to the back stock room, retrieved more candy and brought it to the suspects. The men then left the candy aisle and separated through the grocery area briefly, before meeting back up at the doors, exiting without attempting to pay for the merchandise. They made off with $430 worth of candy.

There’s a particularly nasty computer virus that tricks people into paying to download anti-virus software that ultimately doesn’t work. It looks pretty convincing. And sometimes it tries to scare you into paying for a “clean” computer by implying that you have child pornography on your computer. And that’s what happened in Virginia. A 21-year-old man got a popup message with the FBI logo. It said authorities had warrants on file for child porn use. The message was fake, but Jay Riley didn’t know that and instead of paying for the anti-virus software download, he took his computer to authorities — who found photos of underage girls on it.

Teachers in Zambia are threatening to quit over “invisible witches” sleeping with them at night. Educators in Siavonga have packed up their belongings and are ready to flee, claiming “wizards and witches” are forcing them to have sex. A newspaper report says the male teachers complained that they have been having sex with women they cannot see.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.