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Nitwit News – January 17
Nitwit News – January 17

A trio of would-be Massachusetts car thieves had to hit the brakes on their plan because none of them knew how to drive a stick. Police in Springfield say the men pulled a knife on a food delivery driver Tuesday night and demanded the grub and his keys. But then they noticed the car had a manual transmission.

A thief in Chicago managed to break halfway into a bar before he was stopped by his own stupidity: Instead of pushing, as the door’s sign instructed, he spent several minutes pulling, eventually giving up and fleeing the scene.

Residents of Fairborn, Ohio, say it’s no laughing matter after an anti-social gang of chickens decided to set up roost in their community The birds have turned the front yards on Montgomery Avenue into barn yards since they mysteriously arrived. Causing damage to property, residents are urging local authorities to take action because no one has claimed ownership for them.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.