Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – February 26
Nitwit News – February 26

Listen, for most of us pizzas are for eating. Whatever else you do with them is your business and no one needs to know. That being said, whoever runs the Domino’s UK Twitter account is more than patient than someone else might be when dealing with complaints of alleged burns incurred during pizza, uh, love-making. In an odd exchange of messages, a customer tweeted that he was mad that he burned his bits while he “made love” to a pizza. He started things off asking for how to get a refund after his too-hot-to-handle encounter, and then added that staff “should inform customers about the dangers of making love to your pizza.” Domino’s replied: “Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.”

In the name of art, a Chinese artist (Shu Yong) has installed a huge wall made of 10,000 toilet bowls, urinals and sinks at a park (in Foshan, China). The unusual and perhaps unsightly installation took the artist two whole months to build, and is connected to a water main so that water comes cascading down at periodic intervals like a waterfall.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.


Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.


Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.


Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  


How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.


We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.