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Nitwit News – February 18
Nitwit News – February 18

Brunswick, Ohio, police were called out to a grocery store one morning about a customer throwing grocery items at an employee. Police say Frances Slyman went to the meat counter to get some special cut filets.
At some point Slyman threw two of the filets at the worker because of an alleged comment the employee made to Slyman’s husband. No word on what was said to provoke the meat assault.

If you suffer from coulrophobia, I have good news: The U.S. may soon experience a clown shortage. It seems as older clowns are dying and not nearly as many younger clowns are joining the ranks to replace them — leading to a drastic decrease in membership at the country’s biggest clown organizations over the past 10 years. The president of Clowns of America International admits “clowning isn’t cool anymore.”

At age 11, Chloe Stirling had two businesses: No Bones About It pet-sitting, and Hey, Cupcake! baking. Her mother said when she reached 16, she’d match her savings for a car, but the young businesswoman had grander plans: She was saving for a bakery. The problem, under Illinois law, was that she didn’t already have a bakery. So when the Madison County Health Department read Chloe’s profile in the newspaper, it shut down her cupcake business. Officials told Chloe’s mom she would have to stop selling cupcakes unless she got a kitchen separate from the family kitchen.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.