Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – December 9
Nitwit News – December 9

Audrey Marie Mayo and Matthew Tyler Webb have known each other for about two months. When they first met, she said, he seemed nice, friendly, responsible. Plus, he liked the Grateful Dead. But Mayo said the two didn’t officially become a couple until November 21, after Mayo accidentally shot her. Earlier that day, Mayo and Webb hung out at Webb’s mother’s Georgia (LaFayette) home. Across the street, Webb spotted some deer and decided to try to bag one. After he left Mayo alone, she thought she heard him calling for her. So Mayo walked across the street. She called out to Webb in a sort of “half yell.” Through the thicket of briar, gripping his rifle, Webb heard rustling and saw movement. He aimed. That’s when Mayo heard a gunshot and felt the pain. He’d shot her in the leg.

… After Webb called 911 police arrested him on charges of firing a gun within 150 feet of a road. Webb admitted to taking several illegal drugs that day, and it’s expected he will be charged with other crimes.

… But after spending days at her bedside, and writing an apology note he read from so he wouldn’t forget the words, Mayo and Webb are now a couple.

A Quebec, Canada, judge called a man a “quarrelsome litigant” after he sued the Dominican Republic because it rained during his vacation. In Quebec, being labeled “quarrelsome litigant” means the man (Bruno Leduc) cannot file another lawsuit unless he gets court approval beforehand. Over the past several years, the man filed 70 small claims against people or companies. He once sued Costco for $500 because, he said, the staff took too long to put a lawn mower onto his cart.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.


Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.


Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.


Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  


How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.


We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.