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Nitwit News – August 9
Nitwit News – August 9

A Houston man came within one strike of a perfect game but as his ball was approaching the pins the reset bar came down blocking the shot. He had accidentally pressed the button.

In Riverview, Florida, investigators say Mohammad Abukhder was in the drive-thru lane of a McDonald’s when Rebecca Simmons tried to cut in line. Abukhder shouted profanities at Simmons, who then got out of her vehicle and allegedly stabbed the hood of Abukhder’s car with a knife. Abukhder then got out of his car and walked over to Simmons vehicle in an attempt to take her car keys so she would not leave the scene. That’s when Simmons stabbed him in the right buttocks, causing a small puncture wound.

Washington D.C.’s Historic Congressional Cemetery is using six dozen weed-eating goats to keeps its 35 acres neat and trim. The cemetery hired Brian Knox, who runs Eco-Goats, an environmentally friendly weed-control business that uses the voracious chewers to chow down on invasive species like poison ivy.

People living near the London home of Wendy Towers called authorities Tuesday when 22 tons of junk the homeowner kept on the second floor caused the house to cave in. Neighbors of Towers thought she was probably dead from the collapse — turns out she wasn’t home when it happened. Towers says she’ll treat the incident as a fresh beginning.

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