Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – August 16
Nitwit News – August 16

An Indiana man (Pike County) was arrested Thursday while trying to bail his friend out of jail. A state trooper was dropping off paperwork at the jail when he noticed a man pacing back and forth and acting “suspicious” in the lobby. The trooper confronted the man, 20-year-old Dalton Helsley, and reportedly noticed his eyes were dilated and his speech was slurred. The trooper walked outside and looked into Helsley’s vehicle, where he allegedly spotted two partially burnt hand-rolled roaches and rolling papers in plain sight. Further investigation revealed the roaches contained synthetic marijuana, as well as a baggie containing material consistent with synthetic marijuana. -Hat tip to Jared for the share!

Villagers in Nebbi, Uganda, rejoiced when construction of a bridge over a river was finished last Friday. But their happiness was short-lived: they weren’t able to use it to commute because it collapsed Monday.

The state police in Massachusetts are scolding the people of that state for getting their priorities wrong. Lots of people took and posted smartphone pictures of two teens riding on the back of a tractor-trailer outside of Boston. What they failed to do was use the phones and call the police. The Massachusetts State Police posted one version of the photo on their Facebook page, and posted a statement full of exasperation with the general public.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.