Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – August 14
Nitwit News – August 14

A chain smoking turtle in China is addicted to cigarettes and he currently goes through 10 a day. The owner of the turtle has even admitted that sometimes they share a cigarette when he lights up. The turtle’s struggle with his addiction began when the owner tried to remove a chicken bone from his pet’s belly. However, the turtle wasn’t happy with his owner’s surgical abilities, but unfortunately he wasn’t born with the ability to tell him that with words so he simply bit him instead. The pet owner then decided that the only way to stop getting chomped on again was to shove the cigarette that he was in the middle of smoking into the turtle’s mouth. The turtle managed to immediately finish the cigarette, surprising his owner in the process — but now he is completely hooked on them.

Tip for drug users: If you’re seeking drugs, don’t turn to Twitter for help. Sunith Baheerathan was apparently looking for some pot to get him through the day at a Vaughn, Ontario, auto shop. He tweeted out a message to, well, everyone, as well as his location. Police replied asking if they could stop by.

Interviews & Bits

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WIXY was in the parade

And Steve won the parade! Find out how

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Melissa’s Mosquito Bite Remedy

All you need is a metal spoon and some hot water!

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Cherry Spitting Contest

Who spit the cherry pit the farthest?

money

Another campaign to get women on money

A group now wants to get women on quarters

Channing Tatum

Willie Waffle reviews Magic Mike XXL and Terminator Genesys

Hot guys and aliens…what else do you need? A good script!

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Good advice for avoiding sharks!

This woman has some pretty good (and obvious) advice to keep from being attacked by a shark!

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Nit Wit News Friday: Check your ears!

A teenager found a centipede in his ear! YIKES!