Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – August 14
Nitwit News – August 14

A chain smoking turtle in China is addicted to cigarettes and he currently goes through 10 a day. The owner of the turtle has even admitted that sometimes they share a cigarette when he lights up. The turtle’s struggle with his addiction began when the owner tried to remove a chicken bone from his pet’s belly. However, the turtle wasn’t happy with his owner’s surgical abilities, but unfortunately he wasn’t born with the ability to tell him that with words so he simply bit him instead. The pet owner then decided that the only way to stop getting chomped on again was to shove the cigarette that he was in the middle of smoking into the turtle’s mouth. The turtle managed to immediately finish the cigarette, surprising his owner in the process — but now he is completely hooked on them.

Tip for drug users: If you’re seeking drugs, don’t turn to Twitter for help. Sunith Baheerathan was apparently looking for some pot to get him through the day at a Vaughn, Ontario, auto shop. He tweeted out a message to, well, everyone, as well as his location. Police replied asking if they could stop by.

Interviews & Bits

podcast 1

Greybies Are Coming in November

Moms will be giving birth to “greybies” in November.

podcast 4

Willie Waffle Reviews Get Hard and Home

Willie Waffle Reviews Get Hard and Home

Cop Car

WIXY welcomes Alan Jones with the Champaign Co. Sheriff’s Office

Sgt. Bruce had the day off for more police training so we talked to Alan Jones, the Chief Deputy for the Champaign County Sheriff’s Office about their new body cameras

clown

Nitwit News Tuesday – Man fired for tattoo

Not just any tattoo…his said ISIS. He swears it’s an ex’s name.

wp-good-news

Good News Friday- How do you live to 104?

You have to have the right “Dr.”

clown

Nitwit News Friday- The lawyer is also a criminal

You know you’re in trouble when your lawyer is caught with pot at the courthouse

movie willie waffle

Willie Waffle reviews Insurgent and The Gunman

Willie REALLY didn’t like Divergent, so what does he think of the next film in the trilogy?

stupid-study

Stupid Study of the Week

Kids are eating like crap; too much sugar and salt, not enough fruits, veggies and whole grains. DUH!