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Nitwit News – August 14
Nitwit News – August 14

A chain smoking turtle in China is addicted to cigarettes and he currently goes through 10 a day. The owner of the turtle has even admitted that sometimes they share a cigarette when he lights up. The turtle’s struggle with his addiction began when the owner tried to remove a chicken bone from his pet’s belly. However, the turtle wasn’t happy with his owner’s surgical abilities, but unfortunately he wasn’t born with the ability to tell him that with words so he simply bit him instead. The pet owner then decided that the only way to stop getting chomped on again was to shove the cigarette that he was in the middle of smoking into the turtle’s mouth. The turtle managed to immediately finish the cigarette, surprising his owner in the process — but now he is completely hooked on them.

Tip for drug users: If you’re seeking drugs, don’t turn to Twitter for help. Sunith Baheerathan was apparently looking for some pot to get him through the day at a Vaughn, Ontario, auto shop. He tweeted out a message to, well, everyone, as well as his location. Police replied asking if they could stop by.

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