Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – August 12
Nitwit News – August 12

A Russian man tired of credit-card offers turned the tables on the country’s biggest online bank by drawing up his own contract and slipping it past the clueless moneymen. The 42-year-old (Dmitry Agarkov) doctored the fine print on a bank contract to give himself unlimited credit at zero percent interest with no fees or penalties ever — and the bank signed off. The bank came after Agarkov for $1,363 in late charges, but a judge ruled in his favor.

An Arizona man who built a pirate-ship-shaped tree house in his back yard is on the hunt to find his treasure after someone broke into it. Mike Shepard says thieves took a door off its hinges and made off with $5,000 worth of his stuff, including real gold coins, jewelry and swords.

Christina Andrews of Pensacola, Florida, decided that she needed to take drastic action about the size of her breasts. So she prepared a large sign in pretty pink with blue letters which simply read: “Not Homeless, Need Boobs,” and stood at busy road junctions hoping for donations. Christina says, “I just want bigger boobs, because I’m not happy with the ones I have and I figured this was a good way to do it.” She says that even when she didn’t get money she was happy that she was able to make people smile.

Interviews & Bits

Sgt. Bruce

Sgt. Bruce on Local Nitwits

We asked Sgt. Bruce to share some stories of local knuckleheads and nitwits.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle Doesn’t Like The Identical

To celebrate 20 years Forest Gump is back in theaters — and it’s on IMAX. There’s also a new movie called The Identical.

gina

Gina Talks About Bad Marital Advice

Life coach Gina says we should ignore this marital advice.

PODCAST pod

Waffle Reviews November Man & As Above/So Below

Movie guy Willie Waffle gave one movie 1 out of 4 and the other 0 out of 4!

Sgt. Bruce and Cop Cameras

Champaign police cars have cameras. How do they work and will the police be wearing cameras soon?  

gina

How to Tell Someone They Smell

We asked life coach Gina how to tell someone they stink or have bad breath.

PODCAST pod

We TRIED to do the Ice Bucket Challenge

We were ready to do the Ice Bucket Challenge … and planning to challenge a local “celebrity”. Then the U of I…

Sylvester Stallone

Expendables 3 and The Giver not good

Willie gives E3 one and a half “waffles” and The Giver just one.