Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – April 15
Nitwit News – April 15

When Tony Boland’s wife suggested giving away their daughter’s flute since she didn’t live in the family home anymore, the 79-year-old was resolute in his desire to keep the instrument around. But he couldn’t justify such stubbornness unless he took the flute up himself, and in order to play to the best of his abilities, he needed people to play with. Thankfully for Boland, he’s found a group of collaborators–only they happen to be fifth-graders. Boland is now the senior-most member of the band at Kennedy Elementary in Dubuqe, Iowa, and tutors his bandmates in his spare time, cognizant of the struggles he had as a kid learning to read.

Conventional kitchen wisdom tells us that a watched pot never boils. It also tells us that soup tastes better when a woman’s been soaking in it. Okay, I made that last part up. But some guy in New York City is looking for a woman to add some sort of secret ingredient to his batch of ramen noodles by soaking in them for 30 minutes. Here’s the guys Craigslist ad:

I will pay you $175 to sit in my bath tub full of ramen noodles wearing a bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will give you the keys while we meet, and you will go to my apartment thereafter. It will require a 30 minute soak. The noodles will be cooked and therefore slippery. Do not bring any sauce. I will season the sauce after I get home prior to dinner.

Interviews & Bits

Dustin Lynch

Why did you need stitches?

Dustin Lynch was hit in the face with a can of beer mid-concert and needed stitches. What happened that you…

A house overrun with spiders

Thousands of spiders bleeding from the walls.

PODCAST pod

Willie Waffle reviews Fury

Will there be Oscars in Brad Pitt’s future with new film Fury?