Holstein and Company Mornings

Nitwit News – April 15
Nitwit News – April 15

When Tony Boland’s wife suggested giving away their daughter’s flute since she didn’t live in the family home anymore, the 79-year-old was resolute in his desire to keep the instrument around. But he couldn’t justify such stubbornness unless he took the flute up himself, and in order to play to the best of his abilities, he needed people to play with. Thankfully for Boland, he’s found a group of collaborators–only they happen to be fifth-graders. Boland is now the senior-most member of the band at Kennedy Elementary in Dubuqe, Iowa, and tutors his bandmates in his spare time, cognizant of the struggles he had as a kid learning to read.

Conventional kitchen wisdom tells us that a watched pot never boils. It also tells us that soup tastes better when a woman’s been soaking in it. Okay, I made that last part up. But some guy in New York City is looking for a woman to add some sort of secret ingredient to his batch of ramen noodles by soaking in them for 30 minutes. Here’s the guys Craigslist ad:

I will pay you $175 to sit in my bath tub full of ramen noodles wearing a bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will give you the keys while we meet, and you will go to my apartment thereafter. It will require a 30 minute soak. The noodles will be cooked and therefore slippery. Do not bring any sauce. I will season the sauce after I get home prior to dinner.

Interviews & Bits

podcast 1

Greybies Are Coming in November

Moms will be giving birth to “greybies” in November.

podcast 4

Willie Waffle Reviews Get Hard and Home

Willie Waffle Reviews Get Hard and Home

Cop Car

WIXY welcomes Alan Jones with the Champaign Co. Sheriff’s Office

Sgt. Bruce had the day off for more police training so we talked to Alan Jones, the Chief Deputy for the Champaign County Sheriff’s Office about their new body cameras

clown

Nitwit News Tuesday – Man fired for tattoo

Not just any tattoo…his said ISIS. He swears it’s an ex’s name.

wp-good-news

Good News Friday- How do you live to 104?

You have to have the right “Dr.”

clown

Nitwit News Friday- The lawyer is also a criminal

You know you’re in trouble when your lawyer is caught with pot at the courthouse

movie willie waffle

Willie Waffle reviews Insurgent and The Gunman

Willie REALLY didn’t like Divergent, so what does he think of the next film in the trilogy?

stupid-study

Stupid Study of the Week

Kids are eating like crap; too much sugar and salt, not enough fruits, veggies and whole grains. DUH!